Monday, 23 January 2012

Party time

Dearest Virginia,

Well at long last dear I have a grand daughter. Anna Michelle is recovering; anyone would think she was the first woman in history to have given birth the way she's carrying on. Heaven only knows how she would have gone on in my day. The nearest thing we came to a drug was a Beachams Powder and a strong cup of tea. She has a few stitches but given the very clear design faults I think she got off very lightly despite giving birth. The only thing that seems to impress her is she's gone up three bra size's which the boys at the pub will really like, I am sure they will but if I know men the sight of a small human hanging off them will somewhat kill the ardour.
Regards proud Gran Gran Fanny xx

Dear Fanny,

Congratulations to you and Anna Michelle and baby ?? What is she calling the infant dear, none of those ridiculous footballers’ names I hope like Chardonnay or Pinot Grigio and I pray that she’s not going down the line of film and pop stars, Apple, Blanket or Satchel? If it was a boy and knowing Anna’s way of spending the day it should be either William Hill or Budweiser.

Such a shame you missed my party, how typical of Anna Michelle to ruin your leisure time. Well it went with a swing dear and you missed a treat. There were an enormous amount of Hitlers which is a bit worrying, I half expected Max Moseley to arrive. I wanted us to have fun and relive the days when Britain was great and pulled together. I, of course, went as Vera Lynn, my renditions of We’ll meet again and The White Cliffs of Dover went down a treat. How I wish we had the same sprit as then. There’s that Cameron saying he's going to mount a challenge against the European Courts when he couldn’t mount a pavement without a map or his nanny. It’s shocking,

Anyway dear, I don’t coo over babies as you know but I will send it a suitable gift and see it just before it goes to University. What am I saying, this is Anna’s off spring.

Tootles V xxx

PS Don’t call yourself Gran Gran dear, so demeaning, and so aging,

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