Wednesday, 11 January 2012


My dear Fanny, I managed to break into the office last night (ve are forbidden ze use of laptops und any uzer aid as it interferes viz our bodies) I wish there was someone here I wanted to interfere viz my body! Anyway I used the PC and have booked my flight. I shall be home at the weekend. I am planning my little soiree for the following Friday so you Percy and Mathew start planning your costumes. And then, the week after we will be off to Thailand yippee. As to clothing dear. Well currently its 29°C in Bangkok which is about 84 degrees in Fahrenheit. So I think you would be wise packing lots of cool cotton items. Clothing is cheap in Thailand so you could always plan on updating your wardrobe, designer label copies are everywhere, particularly the night markets, so I am told. What you must avoid is wearing your lisle stockings dear, I know they hide your varicose veins but they are so unattractive – probably more than the veins. In a few days you will have a lovely tan. So shorts, t shirts, cotton skirts and a nice frock or two. Pack plenty of beach wear including a hat and also comfy sandals and walking shoes. Don’t forget it’s a long flight and whilst I don’t expect to see you in tracksuit bottoms and a hoodie you must be prepared to be comfortable, after all dear you do bloat a lot whilst travelling. Do you remember the time we flew to Jersey? And don’t forget to pack some rainwear dear, I believe that storms are imminent. I thought we could stay for a few days in Bangkok to see the sights, don’t want to miss the Royal Grand Palace and the floating market not to mention the various temples. By the way I believe there is a dress code dear so pack a cardi and jacket. I am so looking forward to throwing a party for my homecoming. Mrs F King Echo will, I am sure, devise a menu of gorgeous eats that will include all the food groups I have been missing at the clinic, proteins, fats, carbs and alcohol, in every bloody dish if I get my way. I have already thought up my costume. Be prepared to be stunned. Do write soon dear, but don’t forget I shall be leaving on Saturday, a new glowing, slimmer sexy Virginia. Much love, V Xxxxx I have found half a Mars Bar – strictly a banned substance - in a pocket in one of my suitcases they missed when they searched me. I intend to savour it.

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